it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
