you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
