I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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