Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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