well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize