I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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