im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
