you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Please don't give away my fajitas
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
