is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
