if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is Oprah even human
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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