I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize