Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
