I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
