We're facebook friends in real life
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
What a dumb baby whore.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
