what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
