In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
