I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
