I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize