So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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