You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
