You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
