i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
