Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
