everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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