Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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