she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
