so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
