Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
