Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
