Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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