also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
