What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
