This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
