I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We're too hungover to prance.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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