You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
