We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
