Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
