"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
