what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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