You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
