Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
