Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize