Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
