Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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