what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize