Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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