If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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