420 ftw
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
