And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
They took my balls.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
