I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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