we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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