During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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