cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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