You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
