Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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