I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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