it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
