i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
