Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
