I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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