tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
