She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
