i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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